If you haven’t heard, Burger King has unleashed upon the world the Halloween Whopper! Not since Matthew Broderick went toe to tick-tac-toe with a childlike AI in 1983 has a Whopper been so terrifying!

Halloween Whopper

BK is going all in and giving the Halloween Whopper top billing on their menu screens with a seizure inducing ad daring you to try it. The biggest selling point to this new “HA1LOWEEN” Whopper is obviously the spooky dark bread. I think they were so concerned about the bread’s appearance overshadowing the burger’s other (probably more financially driven) hook of having A1 sauce splattered inside it that they incorporated “A1” into the name.

So is this burger the new king of Hungerween? (Don’t bother checking to see if that domain is available, I just registered it! :)) Find out below!

Dia de los Vaca

Dia de los Vaca

BK is in full Halloween mode with packaging pulled from a Day of the Dead parade. The skeleton chicken boxart on the Chicken Fries is an especially nice touch … reminding you that a chicken gave up the ghost because your hunger couldn’t be satisfied with plain ol’ “regular” fries.

halloween_whopper

First impressions of the unwrapped Halloween Whopper : Definitely a little creeped out by the dark bread. Not because the bread is dark but because I can only imagine the chemicals they put into it to get it that color.

Open sesame!

Open sesame!

Before “tucking in” I had to take a peek inside … it’s a little like opening Grant’s tomb … you know what you’re going to find inside, but you still have to see for yourself. Again, the bread is definitely having the desired creepy, off-putting, Halloween effect. I’m beginning to regret my decision of passing on a regular Whopper. But I am both brave and stupid (for even eating fast food in the first place) so I soldier on …

once bitten...

once bitten…

First bite: Well it’s a Whopper … more or less. It’s definitely a touch different from your plain jane Whopper w/ cheese. Because of the bread’s color, I was expecting a pumpernickel taste. There is no pumpernickel flavor to be found so all of my expectations are out the window. The bread seems to have a slight texture inconsistency with “regular” Whopper bread. (Again, I was expecting a firmer, heartier pumpernickel consistency.) I don’t know if it’s a psych job from the color or if it really is different. It seems a bit off. The A1 element of the burger is present but not overpowering. That’s a feat because I’ve always considered A1 Sauce the cilantro of the condiment world. Battered, but not beaten, I press on …

Fast food is a tough business, sometimes you have to pump the gas with suggestive tray advertising!

Fast food is a tough business, sometimes you have to pump the gas with suggestive tray advertising!

Last bite: Well, glad that’s over with. To these taste buds, the Halloween Whopper is inferior to a regular Whopper in every regard. It loses (HEY INTERNET … THAT’S HOW YOU SPELL “LOOSES”!!!) to a Whopper in food’s holy trinity of: taste, texture, and appearance.

Because of the novelty, I’m sure the Halloween Whopper will do well enough to be back next year, but I don’t see people flocking to Burger King year after year to get their Halloween Whopper fix. Who knows though? Stranger things have happened … lookin’ at you McRib. Now that’s a pink, slimy, monster worthy of Halloween!

Final Verdict: Tastes like mummy meat!